The Last Night

It was pretty late and I was contemplating on how to escape the party without my friends noticing my escapade. They were all busy dancing to the DJ music and I was solitarily sitting in peace in the amphitheatre. Dad was supposed to pick me at 11 and it was only 9:45 p.m. I had still an hour and fifteen minutes to avoid going on the dance floor. I divereted my mind from planning my escapade to how these people were going to actually party the whole night. But again, this was going to be the last time that we all were going to be together. This was the last night and the last party. Yes, it was my farewell party, or rather, the farewell party of my batch. I had been waiting for this day since the end of first year. I was waiting for college to wrap up. Unlike all my classmates, I wasn’t attached to college or my college friends. I didn’t care about making memories or preserving them. Instead, I wanted to run away from whatever memories I had of college life and I was glad that the next morning I wouldn’t have to come back. Finally!

The breeze was light and cool and the amphi lights were soft. It sure was a poetic ambience there. Added, the ultimate day of college life. I decided to scribble some lines. Poetry was the one thing apart from books and music, that never left me. 

It was 10:00 p.m. sharp and I was folding the paper when I heard a familiar voice call me. “Hi Reva.”

I turned back and I couldn’t believe that he was standing there. We hadn’t exchanged a single word for the last two years. Dressed in a black tuxedo, sweating profusely, he advanced towards me. “Hi Reva.”, he greeted me a second time when I realised that I hadn’t responded.

“Hi Adi.”

“What are you doing all by yourself here? The real party is there on the dance floor.”

“I would rather party with my thoughts.”

“I see. Same old Reva.”, he smiled, “Mind if I sit with you for a while?”

“Of course not. Sit.”, I said, patting the ground to my right.

“So, you’ve been writing a poem again I guess.”, he said eyeing the folded paper.

“That’s the only thing I do… are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“No… you don’t look like it.”

“I’m tired from all the dancing. Nothing else.”

“Yeah. You took to dancing when your girlfriend forced you to, earlier this year.”

“Wow! You know a lot.”, he laughed.

“I know something else too.”

“What?”

“You’re not only tired. A bad headache is bothering you as well.”

“How did you know?”, he said taken aback.

“I just happen to know.”

“Yeah, back then… but now…”

“Always.”, I smiled at him, “Here, take this medicine. It will reduce the pain.”

“Why do you have this medicine? You’re getting headaches too?”

“No no. Just like that. Now take this. Here’s the water.”, I said handing my bottle.

“No no it’s okay. I’ll be alright.”

“Please Adi! Take this or else your headache will never subside.”

“You don’t have to do this Reva…”

“But you have to take the medicine.”, I laughed.

“Fine!”, he smiled, “I give in.”

“Thanks.”, I said.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to say thanks?”, he laughed.

“Well yeah.”, I laughed a little too.

An awkward silence followed where I didn’t know what to say or do. We were sitting together so late at night after two whole years. I didn’t know how to react or what to feel. OhGod! Why am I so confused always? I thought. I observed him although there wasn’t anything new to notice. I had always known him inside-out even though we hadn’t spoken in a long time. The distance between us didn’t matter as much as it did. I knew him as well as I did earlier but the silence was the only thing that didn’t fit in. It was a changed silence. It was defeaning. I wanted to hear his voice as much as I could because I knew that once out of the campus, I would never cross his mind or hear from him again. Ever again.

“Won’t you go back to the dance floor?”, I asked, finally breaking the silence.

“No. No more. I’m too tired.”

“I see.”

“Let’s go grab a drink.”

“No. Dad will be here any minute.”

“You’re leaving the party?”

“Yeah. Whole night party is not really my thing. I would rather be by myself.”

“That’s what you’re doing anyway. You were quitely sitting by yourself away from all the madness and head bangs.”

“Head bangs is what has given you the headache.”

“No… nothing like that…”

“It’s okay. I know head bangs give you headaches. I remember.”

“Am I disturbing?”

“No. Never.”, I smiled at him.

“Can you not stay till the party ends?”

“No. I really want to go home.”, I said getting up, “I’ll check if dad has arrived.”

“Please! Just this night. Probably this is the last night we’re gonna be together.”

I looked back. His eyes looked eager and hopeful and I’ll admit- I couldn’t say no. Somewhere deep inside, I too wanted to be there. I knew, I absolutely knew that that was the very last night.

Dad agreed and I stayed along.

“So, drink?”

“No. Tea.”

“Really? You’re really refusing a drink?”

“For you.”

“I’ve started drinking as well.”

“I know that. But you’re already having a bad headache and if you drink now then it’ll just worsen.”

“I don’t believe this. You still…”

“No no. It’s just common sense.”

“No. I’m…”

“A cup of hot tea will be perfect for you.”, I said cutting him short. Engaging in any emotional conversation would be a folly. Just like a part of me wanted to run home, a part of or let's say a greater part of me wanted to make most of that night. After all, old feelings cut deep.

I called up canteen chacha and asked him to bring two cups of hot tea to the amphi. Canteen chacha was everyone’s friend and would serve anyone anything anywhere in the campus. While we sipped at our tea he told me how he was planning to go abroad after graduation and would like to settle abroad as well. I kept pushing my thoughts further and further away to avoid reacting. Maybe staying back was a mistake. Maybe not. The night would tell…

“The tea sure made me feel better.”, he said taking the last sip.

“I knew it would.”, I said smiling again.

“Thanks Reva.”

“So, what do we do now? You wanna go back on the dance floor?”

“Can we just spend some more time together?”

“Y-yes!”, I said trying not to sound too happy.

“Let’s take one last tour of the campus and relive old times. The night will pass easily.”

“What?!”, I was aghast. Old time and old memories were what I was running away from all these years and now suddenly life had brought me to this juncture. I looked at him. His eyes genuinely looked hopeful.

“I just want to spend one last meaningful night with you. Please!”

“Sure.”, I smiled, pursing my lips in. Maybe one last time I could give Time a little chance.

We walked to the canteen and entered through the second gate. The lights were on and a few students here and there sat chatting away. Canteen chacha waved at us. I felt a tiny tug at the string of sadness in my mind. I would miss the warm waves and good mornings from canteen chacha. But I knew through my experiences in life that just like all bad things and bad times, good times too have an end and so do good people and company. And we meet new people. That’s how the cycle goes on. And if you have one person amidst all the confusion for whom you keep crying and smiling, then surely that one person is the centre of your heart. All I knew was that I was yet to find that one person.

“Do you want Milky Bar?”, I asked him.

“No no.”, he laughed.

“That’s your favourite chocolate. And I still remember how many gallons of Frooti you had daily.”

“And you consumed equal gallons of coke, sometimes even more.”, we both laughed looking back at the memories.

“Hey see that table!”, he pointed to the corner most table towards the first canteen gate., “Isn’t that the table where…”

“We first had lunch together.”, I completed him.

“Yeah. A very boring veg thali…”

“And you narrated how you wanted to make a house on the fields at the back of the college compound but your pooping would’ve been a problem.”

“Oh man! Why do you remember all these embarassing stories?”, he laughed.

“They’re funny Adi.”

“Of course of course.”, he kept laughing.

“And then you had spilled coke on my red saree.”

“Oh yes! That was hillarious. The way you jumped!”, he laughed hard.

“It was running down my legs and tickling me and… you’re such an asshole!”, I laughed too.

“You’re looking pretty in the saree today as well.”

I smiled.

“Let’s go to the main building where our classes had begun.”, he suggested.

“Yeah let’s.”, I couldn’t believe I was willing to retrace the paths of the memory lane but I actually was.

We passed the library and the hostel lobby- the new lover’s point,  the old one being the amphitheatre. We'd had our first photoshoot in the hostel lobby and our first fight as well. He was clueless when I told him. “Do you have any of those pictures from the shoot?”, he asked. “Not right now. They are in the laptop.”

“You hated the library.”, I said while crossing the library building.

“And yet I had to go there because someone pulled me to this building everyday.”

“That was me.”, I laughed.

“Oh really?”, he laughed too, “and yet you couldn’t make me a scholar.”

“I never wanted to make you a scholar. I new that you’re a born idiot.”

“Oye!”, he tickled me playfully and I too laughed and sprang around. Suddenly I was back to the olden days and it wasn’t so bad.

He stopped abruptly. “I’m sorry.”, he said.
“Never mind. Friends do these kind of stuff. Relax!”

“We’re friends?”he took a step back. 

“I am. What about you?”

“I’m too.”, he said after a brief pause.

“Let’s see the library once too.”, I said.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

He jumped to the culinary section upon entering and instructed me on how to cook different dishes and cuisines although he himself never made anything apart from Maggi. I showed him books on poetry and literature. We had our old book fights and quarrels about which section is better. I was back in the first year of my college in the flash of an eye. I wanted time to stop. But it never stops. Neither pauses.

Our next destination was our first classroom-118. That room would always be special. There were loads of memories attached to that room alone. We walked through the corridor that led to 118. The old smell greeted us. “We have a suitcase full of pictures clicked in this corridor.”, I said.
 “Yeah I remember some. But I don’t think I have any of those.”

“And people used to sit here and plan our wedding.”, I laughed.

“Really?”, he laughed too.

“Don’t you remember? You too used to join them on so many occassions.”

“I’m sorry but I’ve totally forgotten.”

“Never mind.”. At least he was better off by brushing past old stories. My heart was crumbled with them which did me no good.

We reached 118 and all the memories rushed by. I could feel my voice choking and tears welling up in my eyes. But I knew that a single tear drop before him would spoil the last few minutes left.

“Oye! What on earth are you scribbling down in secrecy?”, he asked.

“Nothing.”, I replied.

“Show me.”

“No no.”

“Then come out. We’ll hang around.I’m getting bored alone.”

“Hang around with others for a while. Let me complete this poem.”

“No. It’s you or no one.”

“Adi please! Don’t be a kid.”

“You’re my best friend not anyone else.”

“I’m almost done, wait.”

“Done? Show me now.”, saying so he snatched the paper and ran way.

“Adi!”, I called behind him but he was already gone. When he returned, I wanted my poem back but he calmly replied that he’d keep it.

“Why?”

“I know it’s for me.”, he smiled.

I smiled back too. It indeed was for him.

“I had started loving you so much.”, he mumbled.

“What?”, I said perplexed.

“The last line of the poem you had written sitting over here and I took it away.”

“You remember?”

“It’s not like I’ve forgotten everything. I do remember somethings.”, he smiled.

“In that case, do you remember why you suddenly pushed me away?”, I asked, my voice already choked.

He looked at me, the colour fading away from his face. I felt guilty of bringing up the topic. I had my heart ripped apart and bleeding but hurting him was never an option for me.

“It’s nearing dawn. Let’s go.”, I said changing the topic.

We were crossing the dance floor when he asked if he could dance with me for the last time. I agreed. The DJ had left and the students were playing soft music. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. Ironically, it was my first dance with him for the last time. I had never danced before. He guided me through the steps and in a few minutes we were effortlessly flowing along with the music.

I went into a trance, reminiscing about our good old days when we took time for granted. Perhaps that's why I was being punished. Perhaps that's why Time was leaving me... He pulled me closer and whispered, “I’m sorry for all the pain you went through. I was just carried away by immaturity. But I realise today, that it’s you and only you whom I’ve loved all along. I would love to be with you again. I know it's too late and it’s okay if you don’t take me back. But at least keep me in a corner of your heart.”

My trance broke. The words pierced deep. All of a sudden there was a reason, the explanation I had been seeking for all these years and I wasn’t ready to get it that night. I knew he was genuinely guilty but I couldn’t get back to where I was two years ago. If only I could tell him that he had been safely in my heart all this while. And he would always be there.  Losing my mind about what to say I just put my head on his shoulders and swayed away. He hugged me tighter and it felt nice, warm and like olden days. Few tears wet his black tux and I knew that time was almost up. And I also knew that I had found the centre piece of my heart. I couldn't deny that I just kept loving him more and more. There had never been a pause to my love. But our companionship was long lost and I knew that despite the void in my heart, I would have to accept the distance. 

‘Lag Jaa Gale’ started playing in the background.

Lag jaa gale,
Ke phir yeh,
Haseen raat ho na ho.
Shayad, phir iss janam mein,
Mulaaqat ho na ho...


 I checked my heart and my emotions. Time was up. It was the end. I couldn’t take anymore of it; I would break down. He walked me to the gate and summoned a cab. It was five in the morning. I got in and stole a glance at him while the car moved away. His eyes were teary while there was a smile flickering at the corner of his lips. I broke down. Reaching for my water bottle in my bag, I realised that Adi had managed to take the poem from me a second time and now it was safely in his pocket. And this time too, it was for him. There was tinge of satisfaction that maybe this one piece of poem would help him remember some of my love and friendship. Maybe I wouldn't completely fade away. Maybe the flame would still burn down the timeline. Maybe...
I remembered some of the lines and cried even harder while I knew that the end to my college life could not have been more perfect!

“The sun sets by the western sky,

Away from all the hue and cry,

Myriad memories cross our mind,

A tear in our eyes, we look behind.”

-Reva.