Being Broke is Okay...

This is a sort of a letter to all those who love.... Friends, family, and some other people whom I don't know whether to term as 'friend' or 'family', 'cause they seem to be both... but at the end it's okay right? 'Cause these are just tags... they don't really matter as long as we love everyone...

This is for all of you who love me very very much and have made survival worth it even in the hardest of situations. My life is building up, I am only a mere nineteen year old girl but in this short time I have realised this that being broke and sad is okay. I have been broke many times probably even now I am regarding some thing or the other. But that's completely alright because I have seen that even broken crayons colour all the same. ☺. And why only me? Everyone of us is a bit broken inside. Also this is natural and very much needed.  

I know you will pounce on me saying it hurts you to see your beloved sad or broken or crying but just think about the other side, is it not necessary for him/her to be emotional? It is. It definitely is. It is necessary for all of us my dear, all of us. I will talk about myself. My parents would definitely never want to see me sad or want me to go to sleep crying over a boy who has broken my heart. But I have. I have been really low spirited, have cried over a boy on numerous occasions and have cried my self to sleep for days on end and I am glad about that. 

Emotions are a very vital part of our existence and people who show their emotions are not weak, they are the real pillars. They are not ashamed of crying or being hurt. They have realised that pain is necessary. I am myself very emotional and I do cry in front of people I love and people who love me and I firmly believe there is nothing wrong with it.I need to be sad, angry, disgusted, broken, silent, sorrowful and even envious sometimes along with being happy and cheerful. I need to cry as loudly as I laugh. Every emotion is needed because what are we without our emotions? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! It's as good as being a lifeless statue. But I refuse to be so. I am a human being and I have emotions and I have a right to manifest them. 

Sadness and a broken heart and every other thing related to sorrow and pain is depicted either with darkness or with the colour black. But have you thought how beautiful darkness is? It is the dark night sky that makes the stars look so beautiful and it is darkness which makes the glow of a candle light so warm and soft. Yes, darkness is beautiful. And so is tragedy. It's hard to believe but it is. Tragedy is so tragically beautiful! You don't know what's so beautiful about it but it is beautiful and you can't deny. Sad stories, sad song, tragic movies everything is so attractive. And in life also tragedy is required. It changes the way we see things, helps us grow and makes us feel alive. Yes it breaks us but it also gives us the strength to put back ourselves together. And as I had said, it's okay to be broken. 

Lastly, my emotions are as much alive as I am. I am made up of my emotions and when you love me it's my emotions that you love. It's the pain in me that you care for, It's my broken heart that loves you back and it's my smile that welcomes you and sometimes even tears might welcome you and you have got to accept every emotion. Seeing me in pain and sorrow will surely hurt you I won't deny but be happy that I can feel pain, that y feelings haven't died. Know this that till the time I feel happiness, sadness, pain, joy I love you, I am alive. If my feelings are dead then so am I. 

So this new year and every other year to come, do manifest your emotions and feel the strength in doing so and accept your loved one's grief just the way you rejoice in their happiness. Trust me, grief is necessary... 

Have an emotional year ahead!

Happy New Year...

                                                                                                                                                   -Reva.

You Will Remember Me...

One day you will remember me,
When you'll come across an old memory..
Old letters or maybe,
An unfinished poetry...

When the rain drops will wash your window
Or a postman will knock your door,
And evening candles will slowly glow,
You'll remember me... remember me more...

When an old music you will play,
On your guitar one day
My voice will echo suddenly,
In the depths of music you'll remember me...

Lost emotions will come rushing by,
And through tears you will smile,
And from deep within your immense pain,
You'll bring me back, alive again...

                                                                                                                                           -Reva.

In Memoriam...

My time had stopped still that day,

The day my brother was taken away.

He went away forever. Forever!

His every thought makes me shiver...

A string of memories rush through my mind,

Childhood, adulthood, with him all my time

Colourful memories have turned dull and grey,

Ever since he left me on that day.

Happiness has never knocked my door again,

I have only been embraced by sorrow and pain.

Beauty is hidden in my childhood days

Time has gone and taken all away...

Everywhere there is music and cheer,

I am drowning in a sea of tears.

It's going to be a 'Happy New Year',

But I have drowned in sorrow forever...

                                                                                                                                              -Reva.

Evening Walks.

When the sun sets and stars appear,

When all around there is music and cheer,

When I can feel the soothing weather,

When finally there is a pause to work,

I go out and take my evening walk...

I share my stories as you walk beside me.

You feel my pain when I cry silently.

And finally with a smile from you,

I receive a hope all fresh and new.

You hold me up as we continue to talk,

Every evening in our long long walk.

Tiredness vanishes. I regain my spirit.

Every evening when we meet.

With small steps and deep words,

We begin on our endless walk...

   

                                                                                                                                                    -Reva.

A Christmas Present. 

I remember that day in standard eleven when our class teacher made us sit together. I don't exactly remember how I reacted to it but definitely life has been so much easier from that moment. Difficulties are a part and parcel of life. They will remain and it's a bitter truth that without some difficulties or struggles life becomes dull and tasteless. We lose the charm of living. All these apart, life has been comforting even in the hardest of situations. There is a simple reason behind it. I didn't have to face them alone. It's true she always couldn't solve every problem, no one can but she stayed beside me whenever I needed and even when I didn't need...

I remember reading the book ' The Diary of a Young Girl.' by Anne Frank. I was barely mature enough to understand what it actually wanted to convey. But I remember a line, a very beautiful line actually "Paper has more patience than people". It is true for most people around the world. But I am a lucky one to be an exception. She was there to always listen and today when I am facing the worst crisis of my life till date, even at midnight she is ready to reply to my texts.

It hasn't been very long. I am a first year college student and our friendship had blossomed in standard eleven. Three years roughly. She proved with her friendship that time is just a number. Even one day can make a big difference and maybe even ten years can't. All that matters is the bond, the trust. And, I will be glad to confess that she is that only person whom I can trust blindly. I know from the nights we spent texting each other that even the world might turn me down but nothing can go wrong between us. 

A few months ago she had nearly killed me. I received a call one night that she had been hospitalized with dengue and jaundice and wasn't doing well. I can still feel my blood clot and my heart stopping to pump. I can sense the warm water welling up in my eyes ready to flow down any minute. I remember those restless nights I had spent with her memories, holding them to my chest and dreading that maybe memories would only remain. Tears have already started flowing down as I recall those days and nights I had waited for her. My time had stopped still!!! My phone buzzed after seven days when she texted "I am home." Tick Tock ! I heard the clock start again... That day I knew what relief means...

I have always noticed that people about whom I write, always drift apart and break my heart. So I never really considered writing about her. But when a few days back she asked me for a Christmas present I knew I had to do it and she deserves it. Writing is what I can do best and that is hat I am going to do for her because fact remains intact that everyone might break my heart but she will come and gather all those broken pieces together and put them back again. I can write for her without having to once fear losing her or our bond...

So my dear, this was just a small tribute to your friendship and a Christmas present for you as you had asked. Merry Christmas love!!

                                                                                                                                           -Reva.

An Open Confession.

I am so hopelessly in love with you,

Your smile,

Your anger,

Your voice,

Your glance,

Your touch,

Your call.

When I steal a glance at you

My heart gets filled to the brim,

It overflows with love,

Emotions...

I begin loving you so much!

Words fall short,

The heart escapes rhythm...

Voice becomes softer,

Lights go dim...

Your one warm glance

And I forget all heartbreaks,

The tears I had once shed,

Undeserved.

But now, I would love to cry for you,

Break my heart for you..

You made my life so beautiful,

You made me fall in love with you...

In the very depths of the huge ocean

Of emotions and passions,

Where my skills fall weak

And I drown.

Oh so happily!

Since I have loved you,

You have been my weakest point...

You have stolen what maketh me a being...

It belongs to you...

My Heart!

You attacked it with your Love

And made it fragile,

So fragile, that...

Emotions get the better of me

And I would dare to confess

I have never been stronger.

                                                                                                                                               -Reva.

A letter to Time...

Dear Time,

                 I will not ask you how you are doing or begin with an age old "I hope you are doing great" because I know you are just fine. You always are. I am here to say something which you might not really like but you can't help it. Truth is bitter.

                 My college life began just a few months ago and I would dare to confess that these few months have been the best time of my life.I made some really good friends and realized that there is a lot more to life than seriousness and career-oriented thoughts. I have written such colourful memories and I know I will cherish them many years later and perhaps sit with my grandchildren, telling them about all the little crazy-naughty activities we indulged in. We are a group of eleven people and all of us share an unbreakable bond. We have, in these few months tried everything we could and should I confess a secret?? Promise me you won't let it out. Well... I also tried to give a puff at a cigarette. I ended up coughing badly though...

                 You know what the best part of college life was? Meeting him... you know whom. He extended his hand of friendship without knowing it would make me so happy. He gave me a peace and solace that I could not find anywhere, an indescribable sense of comfort that I can do whatever I want when he is with me and he won't judge me... such is the intensity of our bond...He was right "friendship is not based on number of days or years we stay together. Friendship is how many memories have we been able to thread that makes us smile whenever we look back and how much we have trusted the company without questioning". Such friendships are rare and I will merrily confess I absolutely love going to college and spending the day with him. 

                 Now, what you are doing is injustice to us. It's been just three months and already the first semester is over. We just blinked an eye and it was already the last working day of the first semester. If you travel so fast then three years will end tomorrow and who knows that we might not get chance in the same college for our further studies... I really don't want this merry ride to end. People will tell me that new life and new place will bring me new friends. I admit. It was the new place that brought us together and it is in this new place that we get to meet and spend some silly and memorable hours daily. But somewhere I don't really want to share this time with anyone else... 

                 it is very simple. Time, I just want to tell you that I don't like your speed. It's too fast. Please slow down and give me ample time with this gem of a person so that I never regret that I didn't get time with him... Truth is, I don't want 'OUR' time to end... 

                                                                                                                                              -Reva.