Dedicated to Sakshi- My mother away from home.
"Hey, why are you so upset?", she asked me.
"I'm not. Don't worry.", I said quietly.
"Yes, you are. I haven't seen you like this in the last year that I've known you. You were always this bubbly, chirpy little boy."
"I'm not a little boy, c'mon now."
"Really?", she laughed as if I couldn't be a big boy ever. I didn't respond and kept walking. The afternoon was slowly giving way to dusk and the sun would set soon. Sunsets in Manipal are stunning and dramatic. I have always been awed by how magnificent the skies look here but that evening I was lost. My thoughts wandered back to that indispensable part of my heart Manipal had given me.
"Mickey, here take this tablet. Take it after dinner today. The doctor said if you take it for five days, you'll feel alright.", Mahi di said.
"Doctor?"
"Yes. You were scared of the injection so I went back this evening and he said this tablet is the alternate option."
"And you went to the medical store to buy? Why Mahi di? You could've told me to get it."
She just smiled and asked me to go and rest.
I felt a tug on my hoodie that broke my trans. It was Kitty looking questioningly at me. I shook my head in denial trying to say nothing has happened. But Kitty grasped my thoughts well.
"Tell me, Mickey, Please!"
"It's nothing."
"Still recalling Mahi di?"
I nodded silently. Mahi di was the safety net Manipal had given me when I needed a hand to hold me tight and lead me towards the glorious sun rays.
I was new here in Manipal. It was around the second day in college, papa had left already and I was sitting in KC going through the old family photos in my phone. Mama, Papa and I. Everyone was happy. The photos in my phone didn't only preserve the memories, they froze my happiness in them.
I missed papa and wished he hadn't left Manipal so early but of course, he had to go back. He had his job to cater to. I missed mama even more. Who doesn't miss their mama, right? And Mahi di was right, I was a little boy back then. Perhaps even today Mahi di will say that I haven't grown up and I would need at least one dose of scolding from her to set me straight on the correct path.
Scrolling through the photos, little droplets of water decorated my phone screen. I wanted to hold them back but sometimes it's so difficult to race faster than your emotions. Just then I felt a hand caress me tenderly on my head.
"Hi Mahi di.", I said, looking up at her. She was a few years senior to me and I knew her from school but we were not in touch after she passed out.
"Hey, there little boy! What happened? Why are you crying?"
"I miss mama!"
"Aww! Come here, don't cry. We all are here. Shh!", she hugged me gently.
It felt nice and safe with her. Although I had just met her, I felt wrapped in affection and compassion. I met her every day in college, during breakfast breaks, during lunch, in the library and so on. Slowly I became friends with her friends and we would often hang out together.
Once on a particularly overcast and rainy day, I remember seeing her name flash on my phone. I was in my apartment alone as my roommate was journeying homewards. She had come to give me soup that she had made for me because I was still suffering from bouts of cough and cold. Manipal can be taxing in the beginning if you don't get used to the weather. That soup was a normal healthy soup that you have when you're sick but it tasted so delicious. I didn't realise why…maybe I was too immature. But today I know because now she is far away and when I crave for soup I have to make it myself…now I know that it was a secret ingredient called love that she had poured in abundance.
I was not only pampered like a little brother but I was also scolded and grounded by her every time I did something wrong. She scolded me more than she pampered me. Sometimes I would purposely take hours to finish my food and Mahi di would punish me and take my phone away and not give it back till I finished whatever was there on my plate. It was so nice and warm with her around that I didn't feel like mama wasn't there with me. She had her own problems and a bunch of work but nothing ever came in her way of caring for us…probably I can never put in words what she did for me…for all of us.
Be it slight cold, fever, allergy, she had medicines and instructions for everything and such was the aura about her that we trusted whatever she told us. We knew she wouldn't say or do anything that wouldn't be in our favour.
It was around November and my 19th birthday was fast approaching. I wanted mama… I craved for the cakes she used to bake for me. Papa had sent in my gift but I knew nothing would ever come from mama…I can let go off things, I knew mama would never come.
What was surprising was, Mahi di wasn't aware of what kept me miserable and craving for love and affection. But it was through her and in her that I found the love and comfort I yearned for. It hadn't been a year of being separated from mama and my wounds were still fresh. But it was Mahi di and her endless love that she tirelessly poured into the gaps and cracks in my soul that it was so much easier to deal with it. She baked me a cake on my 19th birthday and I still have those candles because the cake couldn't be preserved, it was too delicious! It was a very sweet little birthday party she had thrown and it's still fresh in my mind.
She left a few months later but I received a letter from her every month. I know it's a little old school but I loved letters and she did everything we loved. She was the most selfless person I've ever met. She also left me a cookbook with simple recipes that would help me in the kitchen because my roommate had moved out and I'd have to survive alone.
The touch of love is greater and mightier than The Midas Touch.
"So you want her to be around for your 20th birthday if I'm not wrong…", Kitty said.
"Yes, Kitty but that's not possible I know. She has her job now and she can't just leave everything and come because it's my birthday."
"Did you tell her how much you miss her?"
"No. I hardly call her. We share letters once a month and e-mail each other. It's a terrible void she has left behind. I don't want to breakdown over the phone and scare her. She'd be worried for no reason.", I mumbled almost in tears.
Kitty smiled at me. " Mahi di was correct when she called you little boy. She should call you little boy even now."
"I know. I am her little boy."
"Awww! Shoo cute you are!", she pulled my cheeks adoring every bit of her childish boyfriend.
Next morning I woke up to a series of the doorbell ringing continuously. I was so deep into my sleep that it took me a while to figure out if it was the doorbell or the phone or alarm or something else. But once I made myself to the door, still half asleep, I had the most pleasant surprise ever. There stood Mahi di with a cake she had baked, smiling widely.
"Happy birthday big boy! Twentieth birthday huh? Growing big!!", she hugged me handing me the cake. I still couldn't believe she had flown in for my birthday. I thought maybe it was a dream. I pulled in her trolley and she was already in my bedroom then.
"Mickeeeyy!! What is all this mess? And why is your laundry all piled up?", she came out of the room still shouting. I stood there with a puppy face like old times, "don't think I'll not scold you because it's your birthday or you've grown big. I still reserve my right to scold you, you get it, little boy?"
I was relieved to be back to ‘little boy' again.
"Yes, Mahi di.", I smiled and hugged her tightly.
-Reva, 2019.
